I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
