lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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