By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
