I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize