On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
