There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
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