Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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