With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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