I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
