i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
