you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
