Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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