I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
