I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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