Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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