Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Randomize
