You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
