i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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