you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
