It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
