I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
