so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
