If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
