I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
