What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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