Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
