Ambien. No doubt about it.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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