Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Your cock deserves a montage
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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