Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
