your thong is hanging out like whoa
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
