Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
