this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
