Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.

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(410): View more from Maryland

that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night

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(251): View more from Alabama

why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?

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(708): View more from Illinois

It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong

(1-860): View more from Connecticut

It's 4 in the afternoon........

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.

(1-262): View more from Wisconsin

Prepare the pitchfork.

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(310): View more from California

I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020

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