how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
