if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
