already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
