it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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