one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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