I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i dont even know how to be here
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
