Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
