How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize