So drunk its hurt
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
