I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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