Someone shit on the floor
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize