I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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