If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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