did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
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