Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Randomize
