i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
