you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
