I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
