No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
