You're so nebulous sometimes
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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