I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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