yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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