ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
