i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
