You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
