Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
