Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
