Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
sarcasm needs its own font
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
