why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Best friends brother. Beat that.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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