dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
he laminated a picture of his dick.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
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