You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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